What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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