If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Pickles

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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