whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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