Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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