What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

360 NO SCOPE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

thumb_up thumb_down +2

*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down

Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops