A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops