That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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