Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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what's white and sticky semen

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haha

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops