Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

The WNBA

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

WNBA

A woman walks into a bar.

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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