What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What's the difference between a duck?

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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