why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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WILLY

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops