What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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Pickles are powerful

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops