whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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