Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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cory is gay

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There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

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Denard Robinson

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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