salad days!

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops