A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -2

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Want to hear a joke? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Once upon a time, The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

thumb_up thumb_down -2

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops