Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

thumb_up thumb_down +10

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops