Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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