Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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