A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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first

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Fine, ladies first.

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Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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belly button

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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