What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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