In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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