Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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