What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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