So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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i saw amango it splootered

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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