What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops