What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Shltskc gw? G

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops