"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Pickles are powerful

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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