What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Mitt Romney

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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