What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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