Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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