What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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