Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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