why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops