Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Robert Mugabe.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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