-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Your mom

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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