How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

thumb_up thumb_down -28

three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops