- Anti Joke

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

You sick fiend

Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.