How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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