He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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