Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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