Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the man say to the other man? hey

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops