What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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