Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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