How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down -3

have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

miha kako si?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops