Y u do dis?

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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first

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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KARL KARASHIAN - FACEBOOK

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Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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