Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops