A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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