When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Dance is a sport

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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