How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Kys

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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