whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Your mam is so fat.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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salad days!

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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