What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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poop nuff said

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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