How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

thumb_up thumb_down

When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down

yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

thumb_up thumb_down

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

thumb_up thumb_down

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

thumb_up thumb_down

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops